Romantic relationships, for some, are a source of deep happiness, the most important part of life. It might be a dreamy movie plot to find the partner of a lifetime, but it doesn’t happen to everybody. Finding love and losing it, maybe because people settle down in relationships and become comfortable, disillusioned with the belief that they really know their spouses, now that one has become normal.
At one point or another, there are a few common problems that most people in relationships would face, from communication problems to the chain of distrust and finding it hard to carve out one-on-one.
In this respect, we decided to have some Nigerians share their best and worse relationship experience.
Cecilia, 26
“My first relationship really ended badly. I was 20 at that time, and he was 34, a medical practitioner. He had already two masters while I was still an undergraduate in 300 level. It was my first relationship. I was quite excited and very young. He was older and smart,a highly intellectual person and that made me feel good about myself. I called him one fateful day, but he was not picking up his call, I became worried, and I decided to go see him at his place. I knew he was always at home latest 7 pm. Getting to his pace, I met another lady in his room. I greeted them and left, though he didn’t introduce me to her. He followed me and said the lady was his colleague and she stays very far from the office, and she decided to stay at his place for the week. I was shocked because he didn’t mention that to me prior to that day. He tried to defend himself, and he said the lady was leaving that day and I believed him. I bumped into them another day, and the lady was still there, now in his kitchen cooking while he was in his living room. I greeted him and left. I figured it wasn’t going to work. I deleted his number. He tried calling me, but it was the end for me. We broke up just after two weeks into the relationship.
I got back from school one time, and I saw he was married to this lady”.
Emeka 27
“Generally, the amazing and interesting moments were each time I spent with my ex, and some major highlights were times when I had to play a step further into being more than just a boyfriend. Then, I was also like a teacher and adviser and generally being a shoulder to lean on. These were the amazing points in the relationship. The major sad experience was every single time we fought. Either because there was somebody else in the picture or one of us had done something that made the other unhappy. And every single time there was the whole insecurity spree. This time, we had a major family issue where my ex’s family tried to get in the way when they stop us from hanging out. My past relationship was a bitter-sweet experience.
Olayinka 24
I wouldn’t consider mine as a relationship; It was a mutual benefit. I liked this guy back in my university days, and he liked me too, but he was in a relationship at that time. At some point, we started seeing each other and doing stuff together. He called one day and said he was no longer with his then-girlfriend. I thought It was my time to shine and take over as I have already fallen in love with him, but unfortunately, I wasn’t the one for him. We were together for like a year, and I was hoping things get better. One fateful day, he told me he’s got a girlfriend that I should move ahead and forget about him. I cried that very day, and I almost injured myself because it was very painful and I never expected it. I stopped seeing him since then, but we still talk once in a while.
Nelson 27
“I met this person in my first few days at the University. We were friends at first and, the love grew. We read, prayed, went on date nights and did a whole lot of things together, lol. That was my first experience of love. We lived and enjoyed every moment for three years. Sadly we had to end things because my partner was made an Exco of the Campus Christian Fellowship.”
I wanted to get over my ex real quickly, so I found myself in another relationship a year later. I was swept off my feet despite the countless red flags, like not taking responsibility and never apologizing for wrong actions, excessive alcohol intake and many more.
I was constantly abused both emotionally and physically, ignored and used for financial gains. We dated for a couple of months until I was unceremoniously ghosted.”
